SAMANTHA ♥

Find me

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:24:42 GMT

Hi world,
i've switched to
www.makingthosestrawhearts.blogspot.com

See you there!
<3

Gigs

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 15:42:38 GMT

Youre number one on my playlist;

Kenn came over ytd to pass me my travel shit form. (Thank you bery much) :D Baby came over to fetch me and stuff. Left for town to find Boon who claimed was sick but looked perfectly fine. HAHAHAHA. Moron. Walked around & since i was hungry. I went to find food at Taka. Ohgodddddd. Love the food there big time. ^^

IM GOING ON MY DIET PLAN AGAIN!!!!! Casey,you better diet with me. C: HAHA. After that, trained to Cathay. Walked a little there and went to find Ben for his Gig. (: Solo siaaaaaa. It was great x47364219383264. Met a new friend whose hair i think is soon to be longer than mine. Baby & i were camwhoring like crazy. HAHAHA. Love you sunshine. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Saw Justin. :B

With love,
xx.

Change?

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:02:38 GMT

I felt so lost when i walk on the road
all by myself and i saw no signboards;

Hmm. Im very stressed! Should i change back to blogspot? Im getting tired of livejournal already. Yes? No?
Omgggggg, i headed to the dog farm at pasir ris today with baby and all the puppies there are fucking cute,i swear. ^^V
If only i can steal all of them home. (: Kay,i seriously need a new phone. My stupid cb cookie phone(sucks i swear) spoilt for idk what reason. Ughzxzxz.

& now im using some Sony Ericsson phone. Colour nice but it keeps fucking shut down on me. Fuck you manzxzxz. Pissed me off big time. Okay,im done with half of MrsW's homework. Im gonna complete the rest tmr & meet Baby to head to town to meet the rest. ^^V Omg! I wanna go drinking tmr. Hee. :D I've been drinking almost the whole holidays that i think my liver is gonna burst. But fuck,who cares. Hahahahaha. Everybody has to die someday, so why not just enjoy life first huh. Keke. Lurvvv

xx,

It gets harder every min

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:10:32 GMT

I'll be your rainbow after the rain;

MOE isn't extending our holidays >:( Means it's 3 and the half more days till school reopens. Hello to 5am again. Damnit. ):
I don't wanttttttttttt! Eh,2 weeks till Ns oral. * faints. Okay. I've got to finish up geog by tmr. Crazy MrsW gave endless questions to do.
Kay, gotta hit the books now.

Ciao,
xx.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:22:07 GMT

There's nothing more to ask for,
but you back to me

Our 4th lovely month was spent out at Pasir Ris Park. Our usuals. (:
Im quite proud of myself cause i did the speech quite well. Hurhur. C: Awesome time spend with sunshine. We'll have it soon again righttttt? :D

Anywa ys, XiaoWan's BBQ was awesomeeeeee! I miss my classmates very bery mucho. >:(
Stupid Py laughed at my dressing! ): I had fun! Lurvvvv you all.
I don't have the pictures yetttt! Oh oh. Casey,when are we having steamboat? ^^ and i got the thumbdrive readyyyyy!
Gonna hit the books babehhhh! ;D
Ciao (:

Gone in just a blink of an eye

Fri, 29 May 2009 12:12:30 GMT

Thanks everyone who was there for me since Last Sunday.
The texts & encouragement kept me much stronger. Thank you very much.

Life's unfair,no one knows why. I thought i was strong but after this i realised how weak i am.
Tears of sadness and pain. This made me realised how much i should treasure my life like how my Grandpa did.
Maybe it should be tears of joy that he doesn't have to suffer anymore. No pain & just an awesome life with God in heaven.

I miss him, his voice, his encouragements and the times he would tell me, "I know you,i believe you're good enough to join the Sg team" and times where he wants me to grow fat, "You want ice-cream or chocolates? I've got them in the fridge. You can take them and eat".
All this times where i took for granted and now,i miss it so badly. It's true,there's no point crying and being upset everyday. He's not coming back to life. So i should be happy that he has gone to wonderful place with no pain. That,i need time cause now, i just feel like a big part of me is gone and i feel so empty.
" I love you Grandpa and i miss you dearly. You may not be here physically but you're living there,in my heart. Forever. "

ADAM LAMBERT!

Sat, 23 May 2009 04:11:38 GMT

Damnit. Adam didn't win puhleaseeeeee! >:(
He is damn damn cool x37648327562746. He's eyes are like OHMYGAWDDDD.
Bottomline,he's damn cute. Hurhur. ^^

*faints. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ohmannn,i wanna change phone and i wanna get a HOT PINK ipod. I was thinking of getting, E63.

and my hot pink ipod, :DDDDDDDD

If only i have endless monehhhhh. WO YAO! Alrighty,gonna hit the books now.
Ciao,
xx

Last

Mon, 18 May 2009 02:30:15 GMT

One last shot is all i've got.
Im gonna make the best out of it.
Sorry guys,im gonna MIA for a little bit & when im back, i'll be a whole new person. (:

edit/
Okay. Glenda just called me to tell me about my results. Got back Geog and Emath. Seriously. I felt that it was good. Okay,maybe not for geog but for Emath. I had it there. Counting down,i only got 3 months to Prelims and 4 months to Ns.

I don't have much time. It seems like i have so many stuff to study. Idk where to start from.
Now,i have to study every single day to start from. No more slacking but im gonna have rest days during June holidays of course. C: Im not gonna give this shit up. All the best manxzxz. But who to blame but myself. >:(

Ciao,
xx.

Always

Sat, 09 May 2009 08:23:45 GMT

Can i have your picture?
So i can show Santa what i want for Christmas.

I miss Cheryl now. Idk why. I love talking to you. Makes me happy! Hurhur ^^ Anyway,im very happy now.
I just realised im down with ALOT of papers and i have 4 left including Chenna listening. So, if you like, we would take that out.
IM LEFT WITH FUCKING 3 PAPER! Yay me.
Okay, damnit.
BACK TO THE BOOKS BABEH! DDDDDD:

A fool for you

Tue, 05 May 2009 11:33:05 GMT

Am i just trying to hard when yknow already know that nothing's gonna work out? Everytime i go like 'yea,this time im gonna talk to her.' & when i see you,i just hide and run away. Why? Idk either. Seriously. I wonder if now,you think back about our times and start laughing at it or you just regret everything that we've been through. Tell me. Where do i go from here? Cause i just don't know. & one last thing,i still love you no matter how much you avoid me or treat me coldly.

I believe in fate,do you?

Keep trying

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:56:42 GMT

Without you,i won't be able to
get through those long hard times

I remember our past. I remember how you were there for me. Im sorry for everything i've got done. My bad,i know. Im trying to change,you gotta give me time. It's been a long time since i heard your voice. I just want you to say a hi or even just take a look at me. This year Nationals,there's something missing so badly. I missed it. Everything's so different. I want us the same way we were,the way we used to be. Can we?

xx,
i just miss you.

You and me

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:11:26 GMT

That beautiful smile on your face
is just priceless

Nats is fucking next week. MONDAYYYYYY(!!!!) Like fucking 3 more days. SAM'S DEAD AND GONE. Hurhur. D: damnitttttt. Yknow,how i wish i won't regret not training hard enough cause the number of hours that i train,i think it should be enough. It's a good thing my body isn't as exhausted as last year. (:

Okay,i should start sleeping early and yes. No more late nights. Study whenever i can. Mid years is like just after Nats,so no time babehhhhhh. No time. So much things to learn and yet,brain still so small. Anyway,hi bestest. If you happen to read this post,i miss you and all the times with you. I remembered how you used to give me encouraging letters,kit kats and counterpain. Gosh,i wish this year was last year. Cause honestly,no one makes me that happy and times with you was my happiest moments. I love you very much. (:

Wish me luck cause i might just die out there.
XX,

The rush of anger in me

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:03:15 GMT

The more i expect,
the more you just disappoint me

Hmm,does guys really think that girls are that dumb? Honestly. Don't try hiding cause in the end,you will be the one at disadvantage. Im probably saying this out of anger,out of disppointment. You guys go tell the ones that you 'love' that i love and blah blah blah but look at your fucking actions. SERIOUSLY(!!!) Maybe you might find me being childish or what so ever. No,im telling you im not.

Don't disappoint me. Really. I wanna trust you so bad but whatever i have been seeing which you think that i won't find out,it's making me fucking hate you and it's making me go back to my old self. You share your joy and happiness with her more than you share with me. If she's someone you can fucking share your joy with,go ahead. "Mummy daddy fuck shit' Fuck you. Whatever.
Fyi; Im not gonna be that fool and i thought you were different,maybe not anymore.

Goodbye.

We just try so hard

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:11:19 GMT

We said let go but
inside i just keep hanging on

Life have many many obstacles and we just have to get through it. We grow stronger after everything. It's like a storm that tears a house down and at the end, you strong and build that house standing strong again. At the end of the day,you tend to realise how happy you are with yourself.
Life's this way. God made life this way. (:So always think of the positive side cause someone is standing by you,being your pillar of strength and giving you all the support you need. (:

xx,
Gdnight Earthings.

Think back

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:32:28 GMT

Afterall,
i promised to be there for you
i love you very mucho, xx

Somehow today,i just appreciate everything good in my life. I should be seriously less spoilt and stop whining about every shit about my life. Actually my life is more than just awesome. Having a Bestest friend who would stand by you,give you good advices and always be happy if you are. Tell me,how hard it is to find someone like my Bestest friend? And im proud,very proud indeed to let the whole world know that is none other than my all time favourite Low Jiaying! :3

I have many many other great friends too. & i have a great boyfriend! Who plans to give me the world and the best. How hard can life be with this two fabulous people around? It's great,awesome and i love it more than words can explain. I treasure every single one of you. (: Really. My life is the best cause i have the best(!!!) Lurvvv it. So i should always look on the good/positive side of my awesome life. Love it,Appreciate it and Treasure it. & with that,i lurvvv my life(!!!) Hurhur.

So hard to decide

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 17:03:45 GMT

If i told you that i love you,
would you believe?

Okay. Im making a very hard decision now. Should i or should i not? Then i'll have butterflies in my tummy again. :/ I don't like that. In fact,i hate it. I fucking hate it. IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK. HOW HOW HOW NOW NOW NOW BROWN BROWN BROWN COW?!?!? Annoying much. Im gonna slowly think. Happy thinking sam,yknow you will die. Oh,God Bless me. SERIOUSLY(!!!) Anyway,i stayed home today. Being a good girl. I studied. (: Proud of myself and i cooked up a meal for BL. Hurhur. (: Lurvvvv you BL!

One month

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:08:14 GMT

I hear your voice,your laughter and
i can't help but fall in love with it

Together for a month,one whole month. Everything's so perfect and i wish it never ends. Seriously. Up till today,you still got my heart pounding so bad and fast whenever we were gonna meet. We went through so much just to finally be by each other's side. Nothing could tear us down or apart cause our love's just too strong. You always make me happy,always. & i love the way you do it. (:

You gave me hope,strength and faith. You stood by me no matter what. You love me as if i was flawless. You mean everything to me and you're always so sweet and creative. We are like a fairytale with a happy ending. (: I love you BL!! BL gave me a story book made with his love and deeply from the bottom of his heart. A story that brought us together. How we started and up till today. It's the sweetest thing that anyone has ever given me. Thankyouverymuch. May we last for always. (: ily.

So tough

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:49:13 GMT

You swept me off my feet time and time again

Tell me how. Im extremely scared for tmr's race. ): Where's BL!!!!!! I wanna stab myself so bad. My hands are literally shivering/shaking. Im dyinggggg. I can't sleep. It's hard. My stomach is filled with Butterflies. This is unlike me but 'Dear Lord,let me run an awesome race. Take away all my fears and run for your glory. Amen'

Gdnight,
im gonna force myself to sleep now after i take a stick.

Stop it

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:56:20 GMT

We dance through the night,
not feeling tired cause we have one another

I desperately lost. Where do i seriously go from here? I just stare blanky at my laptop screen. What am i suppose to do? I CAN'T BE SELFISH & MEAN. No,i can't. There's no mountains too high or oceans too wide that i can't overcome on my own right. Im strong. I know i am. I have to stay strong. Come on sam,you can't be spoilt. Live with it, it's a fact you can't change.
I hate myself.

Goodbye.
& tell me again why im getting so upset.

The sound of your voice

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:53:06 GMT

It's more than just chemistry between us

Sometimes life is just so weird. You find for love and yet it's right in front of you. Some lucky people wake up knowing that there's someone out there loving them so much and missing them so bad. Well,sometimes you just gotta wait and that flawless person just turns up. Somehow,weirdly. I feel it's He's plans and fate(irony i know) that let you meet your other one. Imagine,knowing that someone exist for 4 years. 4 long long years and fate just didn't let you really know him/her until 4 years later. It seems so weird. Like you both have been living so near,seeing each other every year and only the fourth year then you both met. You just kept admiring him every year,finding so perfect and knowing that he's never gonna be yours but one day. Just one day,he talks to you and thats how you both started. & probably after months you realise,'OMG,IM DATING HIM/HER,THE ONE I HAVE BEEN ADMIRING FOR 4 YEARS'. Yes,you feel happy,the happiest infact but yet you don't feel good enough. Sometimes,i wonder why life's like that. Now that you have him/her,you realise that there's no way you're gonna let this go cause everything seems to go more than just perfect. It feels like a fairytale. But when he/her seems and looks so upset and there's no way you can put that usual smile on their face,you feel fucking useless. Tell me,isn't it weird?

Gdnight.
& i miss you.

Failure

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:48:21 GMT

Looking at our picture is all i've got

A great great disappointment about the results. Sometimes,you just know that you have studied but yet maybe not much effort was being put in. You get your papers back and you realise,maybe i should have put in more effort,maybe i should have started earlier. Maybe this and that. But actually there's no point looking back on what you should have done cause whats done is already done. You failed,so now the only you can do is pick yourself up. Put more effort,start ealier or whatever you can do to do much better. You find that you tend to hate yourself for not doing as well as you thought you would. You tear,you cry but you shouldn't cause letting those tears roll down your cheeks isn't gonna solve a thing. Many people just like me wished so hard that we were smarter,we can learn faster and we make ourself seems so down below. But think on the bright side,at least we scored something and we can do much better. I regretted for not working harder and it's the worst feeling to feel. To think back,maybe it's just no point. Cause everything's over and i just gotta face it,study alot harder. Yes,to many it's just Ns, It's no big deal but it's the people who are taking it. We have to get through this to take our Os. We fail this,no Os. I fail this,i just got to say Goodbye to all. Parents get worried,afraid you might not make it. So lecture you for your own good but yet,they don't know how tough this shit is. So pick ourself up,mug hard and don't give up. & for all results,we only got ourself to blame.

Goodbye.
Yknow,i love you so.

Don't ever walk away

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:58:16 GMT

I tried all ways to show that i
really love you but it's aint working

Okay. I had my heats today. I pulled my thigh muscle and my back is really in pain. ): Damnit. and i still have stupid 200m tmr. Gosh. Damn tiring puhlease. Anyways,thanks BL for waiting for two whole hours for my heats to end. He came over a little while and just left not long ago. I miss you already and i can't wait for dinner tmr. 8) Hurhur.

Now im waiting for Mummy to buy my dinner back for me. Gonna study later on. My results are like damn damn bad. So i gotta study really hard like everyday from now. (: Kay,im very hungryzx! Alrighty,im gonna wait for Mummy now. & oh. You jealous shit. Whatever you're doing,it's fucking childish. So here's one advice,GROW UP PLEASE. AND THANK YOU. Bitch.

Ciao,
xx.

Shine on me

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:15:58 GMT

Up till now,
I still think im dreaming that i got you

Hi and im extremely exhausted. SAM NEARLY,NEARLY DIED TODAY! I swear. Training was killer for me. Tough but good. (: So still love it. Hahaha. Hopefully i'll improve like really fast cause i don't have much time. ): Anyway,im gonna get my new sexy phone tmr. Hee. (:

Just tell me it's DA BOMBXZXZXZ! Lurvvv it much. Hurhur. I can't waitttttt! Kay,im damn damn damn damn tired. So im gonna turn in now.
Gdnight Earthings. 8)
xo,

A love totally unexpected

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:28:47 GMT

We were the only couple on that
dance floor dancing with love and compassion

I don't how some people can be this way. Seriously. You're gonna regret,BIG TIME ASSHOLE(!!) Some guys just think with their dicks(no offence) (: I'll be nice if you are. Anyway,i just had a war with my mum. No,i don't wanna scream at you this way. Yknow i love you so much but you gotta see from my point of view. Drop this topic.

Overall,ytd was great. :D Lurvvv my bl! Ultimate puhleaseeeeee. Hee. (: BL came over to my place to fetch me. Trained to Cathy. Caught "He's just not into you" The show was okay but it was kinda draggy. Rather romantic show though. Stupid BL made me laugh in cinema like damn loud when it was damn quiet. Fags. Headed to meet up with Bestest,Leney and Kelly. (: Kelly left and soon leney left too. So BL,Bestest and i went crazy on our own. It was great! Lurvvvv you both so much. :D

Go on girl

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:43:17 GMT

And im smiling all over
when i see the sparkle in your eyes

Cts are finally over. Most of the subjects are screwed up very badly. So go Sam,you gotta buck up like hell. You have very little time. SERIOUSLY(!!) Even my best subject is failing on me. Everyone please make me study really hard. I have no more time. Everything's moving too fast. Gosh. :/ Killmenow. And i jolly well know that im not gonna do well if i don't focus and start studying now. So yea. I need to catch up on a hell lot of stuff.

Hey dear, we have been seeing each other for a month and 5 days. And each time it gets harder and harder for us to part. I never get sick of you,never will. Everyday's just so meaningful with you. I don't know what im gonna do if you're out of Singapore for competitions. I really don't. But i don't blame you cause i can't. Everything thats being arrange for you is good for you,good for your future. Neither do i have a choice. I can't be selfish and ask you to stay. Thanks for every single thing. ily.